He Doesn’t Want A Relationship But Still Wants To See Me: 20 Reasons Why

He doesn’t want a relationship but still wants to see me. What does that mean? This can’t be right! Am I really just his plaything? Or is there something else going on here? Help me understand!

I’m not sure if this is some sort of game he’s playing, but I’ve been seeing someone for about five months now, and in the last few weeks, it seems like he’s pulling away.

He says that he wants to take things slow, but it feels fast-paced when we are together.

20 Reasons Why He Doesn’t Want A Relationship But Still Wants To See Me

Write an article about how you might be confused about what he means when he says that he doesn’t want a relationship but still wants to see you. Here are 20 reasons why a man might not want a relationship with you, some more common reasons and some less so. Use this as a guide when trying to understand his intentions:

1. He is unhappy in his primary relationship

He is thinking about breaking up with his partner, but he isn’t sure if you are a good replacement yet. He wants to test the water first and see if you measure up.

2. You aren’t really his type

Maybe he has a type that he goes for-you don’t fit the bill. Maybe you’re too young, too old, not his socioeconomic bracket, whatever.

3. He is very busy with work

Yes, he might be full of excuses and reasons why a real relationship can’t happen or why you are not an ideal match, but the truth is that he simply doesn’t have time for it.

4. You are great friends

He enjoys spending time with you-you talk and have fun together, but he doesn’t feel a sexual attraction to you. However, this is enough for him.

He Doesn't Want A Relationship But Still Wants To See Me
He Doesn’t Want A Relationship But Still Wants To See Me

5. He is scared of commitment

Maybe it’s his age, or maybe he was hurt in the past, but he has no interest in being serious about anyone right now. A relationship is too much work, and he just isn’t up for it.

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6. He has a reputation to uphold

He’s not a player or anything like that, but they might judge him if his friends or family knew that he was involved with someone. They might also interfere and try to sabotage the whole thing.

7. He is shy and doesn’t know how to socialize

He is introverted and takes a while to open up. But he just can’t get comfortable enough with you yet, so it’s better for him if you are in a relationship with someone else who can be more outgoing and make a few waves for him.

8. He wants to see if you can fix his broken heart

He was just dumped by a girl and is actually really hurt about the whole thing, but he doesn’t want to let you know that because he’s afraid of what your reaction might be or how it could affect the relationship you have with each other. He doesn’t want to be the “stupid guy who got dumped”, but he also doesn’t want to move too fast in a new relationship.

9. He is scared of being rejected or taken for granted

Maybe he had an ex-girlfriend that kept him on a leash, and it feels like such a huge risk to put himself out there again, so he is taking a wait-and-see approach to protecting his heart.

10. He is physically unavailable-he’s sick or injured

He is trying to recuperate and needs to focus on his recovery before he can put effort into a relationship with you.

11. The timing isn’t right

You aren’t single, so it’s impossible for him to be in a relationship with you. The timing is off right now, but things might change in six months or a year, and it could be okay.

12. He doesn’t think that you really like him all that much

He has asked you out on dates before, and you always turned him down, so he thinks that perhaps this whole thing is one-sided and he is wasting his time. He wants to make sure that he isn’t throwing himself at you for no reason and hoping that someday you will change your mind.

13. You aren’t really his girlfriend, but he likes the image

He might actually be seeing other people, or maybe it’s just temporary until things get more serious with someone else, but he likes the image of you as his significant other.

14. You are a player’s backup girlfriend

He isn’t interested in giving up on his main squeeze for something more serious, but he would take you if things ever fall apart. He doesn’t really care about commitment or monogamy at all, so it’s just easier for you to be a side piece.

15. He is selfish and doesn’t know how to make you happy

Maybe he is just interested in seeing you once in a while, but not enough to stop dating other people or spend more time with you than his friends. He really doesn’t have the motivation or desire to put what’s best for you over what’s best for himself.

16. He doesn’t know how to tell you the truth

He knows that he isn’t ready to be a boyfriend or even just a friend, but if he tells you that, it might hurt your feelings and make you feel like everything is over between you two. So he finds ways around having those conversations by being scarce, vague or just plain rude.

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17. He is still emotionally unavailable

Maybe he had a traumatic past relationship, and his feelings are still pretty raw, or maybe it’s just one chapter of his life that he would like to close before moving forward with you in another capacity. Whatever the case may be, he isn’t ready to let you in yet.

18. He doesn’t know what he wants out of life

He is just taking things one day at a time, and so for now, he’d rather not give you false hope or make promises that he might not be able to keep down the road.

19. The timing isn’t right-his friends aren’t in the right place

He wants to see you more often, but his social circle isn’t really there yet, and he doesn’t want to push them to get serious too quickly when they just aren’t at that stage of their lives yet.

20. His career is on hold

He might be going back to school or just taking time off to travel and figure things out, but he doesn’t want to start anything with you until he has a solid plan in place.


The reasoning behind your ex-boyfriend or romantic partner’s behavior could be due to a variety of factors, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that he is not interested in you. You just need to figure out why the timing isn’t right and how his life circumstances are affecting him at this time.

If there is anything we can do to help you better understand what’s going on with him, please reach out! Our team of experts would love nothing more than for you to find peace in knowing exactly where things stand between the two of you.


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