How often should I see my boyfriend of 3 months? I’m a girl of 18 and have been going out with my boyfriend for three months. Recently we had an argument about how often I should see him.
He thinks once every few weeks is enough, but I think he needs to come to see me more often because we’re in love and all that stuff. What do you think? How often should I see him?
Before answering it, let me first explain what a boyfriend is to me.
My definition of a boyfriend is someone I am in an exclusive relationship with and who has sexual access to my body. A “boyfriend” does not stay over after sex, nor do we spend time together just as friends do nonsexual activities.
A “boyfriend” is someone I am sexually active with and share my life with, not just some random guy I know.
Now that we got definitions out of the way let me answer your question.
How often you should see each other depends on what both of you are comfortable with as well as how much time you have to yourself without being disturbed by family and friends.
In your case, you have been going out for three months now, and it seems you are in love with each other, so I’ll assume that you guys do spend some time together on weekdays as well.
If both of you are fine with seeing each other once a month (which is not too often at all), then it’s okay to do so. If you’re not comfortable with that, then at least make sure to see each other once every two weeks.
If you guys are fine with seeing each other on a weekly basis, but he gets too busy during the weekdays and can’t come over that often, then don’t worry about it as long as you guys meet up on weekends.
If both of you are working, then it’s okay to meet up once every two weeks, but if only one of you is working (which I assume is the case since you’re still studying), make sure to see each other more often as possible.
As a general rule of thumb, seeing partner at least once a month As a general rule of thumb, seeing your partner at least once a month is necessary for the relationship to stay healthy. This time together can be used for sex, lovemaking, sharing daily life experiences and activities, or traveling.
How often should I see my boyfriend of 3 months?
When in doubt, see him as often as you want to. You’re a busy girl, and if your boyfriend isn’t compatible with your lifestyle, you should move on. However, if he is compatible (and if you like him), he should be willing to make time for you. When it comes down to it, the amount of intimacy you get from a guy is directly proportional to how much time you’re willing to put into him.
The benefits of seeing your significant other more often
The benefit of seeing your boyfriend more often is that you will have a better relationship with him, he will feel like a priority, and he will probably be willing to do more for you.
The benefits of seeing your significant other less often
You’ll get some “space” to do your own thing and catch up on school work. You won’t be in a committed relationship, so you’ll have the freedom to explore your options.
The problems with seeing someone too often
You can smother your boyfriend if you see him every day (especially in the beginning) because he won’t have had enough time to miss you and fall deeper for you. Alternatively, if he’s always expecting you to be around and you’re not, he may get upset. This kind of behavior can turn into clinginess, which is not good for your relationship’s stability.
You’ll feel suffocated if you see him every day because you’ll start thinking about all the other things you have to do and that you need time for yourself. It will get exhausting trying to juggle him, school, work, and socializing.
The problems with seeing someone too little
You will never have enough time for him if you don’t see him very often. It’s important that both partners feel loved and that they’re a priority in the relationship but only when actually spending time together. You might start to feel like you’re being taken for granted or that he’s not interested in what you have to say.
The “ideal” amount of time
There is no set amount of time that you should be spending with your boyfriend. It all depends on the situation and how you can make it work.
If you’re happy seeing him once every few weeks or even less than that, then there’s nothing wrong with it. If however, this agreement doesn’t seem to be working for either of you, you should consider seeing him more often.
Tips for maintaining a healthy relationship
Tips for maintaining a healthy relationship with someone you don’t spend as much time with:
1) Communicate with him about the nature of your relationship
It’s important to define what kind of relationship you have so that there are no surprises down the road. If it’s meant to be a casual sexual arrangement with little communication, then fine, but at least then you’ll know where you stand and can make an informed decision about whether
2) Find a middle ground between being too distant and too close
Some people are on the “I can’t stand this guy” end of the spectrum, and some are pretty much attached at the hip (from day one). There is nothing wrong with either approach but if you’re closer to one than the other, then try to adjust.
It’s not easy, but if you really like him, it will be worth your time. Good luck!
The Bottom Line
The “ideal” amount of time to see your significant other is really subjective and depends on the situation. The best way to figure out how often you should be seeing him or her is to talk about it beforehand, find a middle ground between being too distant and too close, and then adjust if needed. Good luck!
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