How to discipline your boyfriend when you have not done so at the beginning of a relationship.
When to begin discipline. Some people think that it is best to begin disciplining an unruly boyfriend after things have already gone too far and they have lost their temper or done something stupid they regret.
Others believe that it is better to do this at the beginning of a relationship with your boyfriend because this shows the other person that they mean nothing to you, and it demonstrates by example your commitment to being in the relationship.
Both of these approaches work, and it is up to you to decide when you want to start disciplining your boyfriend.
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How To Discipline Your Boyfriend: Best 20 Ways
Some don’t seem to understand that your relationship with your boyfriend isn’t a dictatorship. He doesn’t need to be controlled and told what he can and cannot do.
However, you can teach him how he should act in a more respectful manner yet still maintain your feeling of freedom. This means that you should set your boundaries, and he should respect them.
If he does not listen, you can use the 20 effective ways of discipline that follow to teach him a lesson.
# 1: Talk To Him
The easiest and most effective way to get your point across is to talk to him. Tell him how you feel why you are upset and ask him if he can be more respectful of your needs.
There’s a chance that he may not know that there’s a problem, so you will be able to resolve the issue in no time flat.
# 2: Listen To Him
Just because he’s not as vocal about his feelings doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have any. If you hear something that makes you think there may be an issue or problem, listen to what he says.
# 3: Be Respectful In Return
If you want more respect, it’s time to give more respect. Ask him if you don’t understand why a certain action upset you so much.
Listen to his response, and if there’s something that he can do to change the situation, be mature enough to hear him out and respect his actions.
It doesn’t mean that you have to agree with everything he does or says, but at least you’ve shown that you are willing to listen and try to understand.
# 4: Setting Boundaries
If he does something that really bothers you and there is no way around it or compromise made, then set boundaries for him. This just means that there are certain actions that he cannot do, and he has to do as told.
This may not always be nice and easy, but if you truly want things to go back to normal, this is the only way.
# 5: Make It About Him
It’s not really about you at all. Don’t feel bad because he may be doing something that you don’t like, and his actions have nothing to do with your feelings or overall relationship.
If there’s a way for him to change his behavior, then maybe try letting him know about it in a friendly manner or put it on a “you/we can work on this together” conversation. It’s not a matter of you against him, but more of a partnership.
# 6: Don’t Be Too Nice
It feels good to be nice and just give in to what he wants, but don’t overdo it. This could get you to the point where you’re never able to say no or set boundaries for yourself.
While it’s all about your relationship with him, don’t forget that there are some things that are for your well-being as well.
Be happy, and he will be too! One way to avoid the trap is by saying something like “no” when you really mean yes, thereby setting down a boundary without repercussions or resolving any issues at the moment.
# 7: Don’t Harass Him About It
It may feel good to be right and call him out on his thoughtless actions. However, it’s important to remember that he may feel the same way you are. Instead of harassing him, let him know that you’re aware of the situation and ask if there’s anything he can do or say to fix things.
This will allow him to deal with the problem on his own and isn’t giving you too much input into a private matter.
# 8: Communication Is Key
Showing how much you care about your boyfriend’s well-being is a great way for you to notice when something is wrong in your relationship.
If you see it or feel it, then talk to him about it. No matter what the situation may be, talking with him is going to be helpful.
# 9: Don’t Put All The Blame On Him
If you want things to get better, you can’t put all of the blame on one person. If your boyfriend took a little more time for himself and recognized how his behavior made you feel, then maybe he would change some of the things that upset you so much.
It’s not fair to put the entire burden on him to think about how his actions may hurt your feelings when there are also ways for you to make sure that everything is okay as well.
# 10: Make Sure You Are Right
If you are looking for the perfect time to confront your boyfriend about his behavior, it has to be handled correctly. If you confront him when you’re angry, he may not understand why he won’t be able to focus on your issues.
Save the conversation for when you are relaxed and in a good mood so that he can really focus on what you’re saying. It also helps to let him know that it’s not a big deal, so don’t come into the conversation with nerve-racking emotions. This will allow him to know that it’s no big deal and how he can fix things without having any stress added on.
# 11: Speak Up
If you ever feel that you need to speak up, then do it. There’s a chance that your boyfriend may not know what needs to be done, so be the one to approach him with your concerns.
This gives him a chance to think about the situation and understand how his actions affect you and what he needs to do so that things can continue on the right track.
# 12: Don’t Hide It
If something is bothering you, it’s better for all of the two of you if you tell him rather than try and let it build up and explode at some point in the future.
When it’s out in the open, you can either change your attitude and want to know what he thinks or let him know that something is wrong.
When you keep things to yourself, there’s a chance that the situation will continue to be bad.
# 13: Be A Team Player
If two people are bound together, they work best as a team. If you want your relationship to work, then it has to work for both of you.
If one person is always complaining or thinking about their own needs over the other, this will never really work out. If you want things to stay great, then it’s important for both of you to be on the same page.
# 14: Don’t Take Things Personally
It’s hard not to take things personally, and if your boyfriend is doing something that you don’t like, then it can get you upset and cause a lot of problems in your relationship.
Try not to take his actions personally, but instead try and only do things that are consistent with your relationship goals together.
If he has a bad habit of doing something behind your back, then confront him about it and let him know how much it bothers you.
# 15: Learn To Say “No”
If you let him do things over and over again, you’re letting him know that they are okay or that you will do them. You may get into the habit of doing exactly what he wants because it’s a habit or means that it’s still okay, but eventually, this can take a toll on your relationship and will cause more problems.
It’s important to learn how to say no instead of just doing whatever he wants. Otherwise, things will never get better.
# 16: Don’t Ignore The Small Things
It’s important to note the small things that your boyfriend does right because they can impact your relationship. When he is trying to communicate his thoughts or give you a compliment, this is a big thing to remember.
Instead of ignoring it as you may have in the past, take note of what he wants to tell you and let him know how much it means by saying something back like “thank you” or “I really appreciate that.”
Take everything as well as it comes from him because so many little things are unnoticed that can cause problems in your relationship.
# 17: Separate The Two Things
When you’re in a relationship, you don’t always see things from your own perspective. You’re expected to act as best as possible and think about how the other person sees things.
It’s important to remember that they will have different opinions of the same situation than you, so make sure that you keep that in mind when battling.
You may have been frustrated at him for the past few days, but be willing to forgive and try to see it from his point of view too.
# 18: Don’t Take Things Too Personally
As stated above, taking things too personally can cause a lot of problems in your relationship. If you overhear something that makes you mad, it’ll be easy to take this out on your boyfriend and not think about how he might see it.
Take everything with a grain of salt and don’t believe everything that he says or does. Otherwise, you may just end up causing a lot of trouble. It’s important to remember that your boyfriend has to live his own life as well, so don’t expect him to sit down and think about what they can do to fix things if they’re not working out as best as possible.
# 19: Be Honest
If you’re questioning how your boyfriend is being, then you need to be honest with him. There are a lot of different ways to communicate your feelings, and it can be hard to determine what is best for both of you in each scenario.
If you really do have a problem, then it’s important for him to know about it so that he can handle things accordingly. Don’t keep things bottled up inside, and always let him know when something bothers you so that he can avoid doing something as well.
# 20: Understand Him
If you love your boyfriend, it may be hard not to get angry with him, but remember that he can’t read your mind. You can’t always understand why he does certain things, and even if you do, you may not know the consequences of this.
Try to understand his point of view, and if it doesn’t mesh with your own, then there’s really nothing that can be done about it.
You need to keep an open mind about things and make sure that you don’t believe every single thing that he says or does.
The Bottom Line
These are all ways to help keep your relationship going strong if you’re having problems in your relationship. It’s important to remember that there is no perfect relationship and that things can always be improved upon.
If you’re going through a rough patch, try to look at it in a different light and go about finding ways that you can work on things.
There’s no right or wrong way to handle things, but remember these tips to help keep things smooth and avoid causing more problems in the future.