I really like him but I don’t want a relationship! He’s sweet, attentive, and charming. We have a lot in common, and he makes me laugh.
But I don’t want to be tied down with a relationship right now. What should I do? Is it completely unfair to keep leading him on?
Don’t feel guilty. You’ve made it pretty clear you’re not interested in a relationship, so continuing to see him isn’t leading him on – he knows where you stand, and he’s happy to keep seeing you if that means having no strings attached.
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I Really Like Him But I Don’t Want A Relationship: What Should I Do?
It’s not uncommon for people to have a crush on someone but not want anything serious. But what if that person is someone you know really well, like your best friend or coworker?
To some people, this might seem like the perfect opportunity to explore their feelings without any consequences.
However, there are many reasons why it might be better to just keep things platonic with them instead of risking ruining your relationship. Read more about how to tell if it’s worth pursuing a relationship with him here:
Tell him you’re not interested in a relationship
Tell him you’re not interested in a relationship, but be clear that you want to continue as friends if he’s ok with that – don’t shut it down completely and leave him wondering about other possibilities.
Remember, this friendship is a two-way street. If you’re not interested in dating, make that clear, but if he’s hinting at something more it will be up to him to tell you how he feels about seeing you as just friends.
Don’t use the words ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend.’
Try to avoid the words boyfriend and girlfriend when you’re referring to him because they can have different meanings for different people. You might think of your partner as your boyfriend, but he could see you going out with a friend on Friday night as being his girlfriend. And if that’s not what he has in mind just yet, then it will be confusing for him.
Don’t ask him what he thinks of the relationship status
Don’t ask him if he wants to be your boyfriend or if he would prefer things to stay as they are – this will only confuse and frustrate him.
He needs to come to a decision himself, without you putting pressure on him by having an undefined relationship, or one where you’re elusive about your intentions.
Keep seeing him as friends
Keep seeing him as friends for now – having some fun together isn’t leading anyone on because there is no pressure, but also make sure you’re not getting into a relationship-type dynamic with someone who isn’t willing or ready to commit.
Try not to focus on him too much
If you’re unsure of where your relationship is going, try not to focus on him too much. If he’s only there when convenient for you, that certainly won’t be fair or lead to anything long term.
So, next time he invites you out for a date, whether it’s for just the two of you, or with friends, try to go – and if you have other plans that evening, tell him.
Not only will this be a clear sign of your intentions, but it also means he won’t feel as though he would be missing out by not having you around because clearly, you’re busy!
Be upfront and honest about your intentions
Be upfront and honest about your intentions – if he wants more, let him know from the start. Don’t tell him what he wants to hear (we can be friends) just to keep it casual, or tell him (we can’t be friends) if you’re not interested in that. That will only leave him confused, frustrated, and resentful.
Don’t lead him on or give mixed signals
You don’t have to completely shut it down if you want to see him as friends – just be clear about where things are at with you and what your expectations are. If he still wants more, then at least you know where you stand.
Don’t lead him on or give mixed signals because it won’t be fair on either of you, and you could end up in a situation where he thinks there’s a chance when really there isn’t one.
Understand that he might get upset, but it’s understandable given the situation
If he keeps pursuing you, be clear and firm with your boundaries while still being kind to his feelings – don’t tell him to stop seeing you because it’s not what he wants to hear, but express that things can only go at this pace or slow down a little bit. I understand that he might get upset, but it’s understandable given the situation.
If you are friends, don’t discuss his love life with other people
If you want to continue as friends and allow him to move on without getting involved again – so just seeing each other from time to time – then be clear about not discussing his love life with other people. You don’t know how he might interpret this, and you could undo all the good work you’ve put in to rebuild your friendship.
Let him go as friends if that’s what he wants
If he keeps pursuing you for something more and it’s not going anywhere, then there’s nothing more you can do, but let him go as friends if that’s what he wants. You owe it to him, to be honest; otherwise, things are going to get messy.
Final Thoughts
This article has given you a lot of information about how to approach the situation. Some may want to give him space until he’s ready, while others might take it as an opportunity to explore other relationships that are more serious in nature.
Either way, if you find yourself wanting something more with your friend and can’t get them out of your head – don’t be afraid to let them know what is going on inside your mind.
Honesty is always best when it comes to these types of situations because there will never be any hard feelings or hurt feelings left unspoken. Remember: communication goes both ways!
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