What if she just wants to be friends but she likes me? Relationships can be confusing. You’re reading this article because she likes you, despite your mutual agreement that being friends are best.
You might have known for a while now, or maybe this realization occurred just recently—either way, it’s time to take a step back so you can sort the situation out: identify what you want and what she wants.
If you can do that, there are ample opportunities for you and her to get what you both want.
Can You Be Just Friends With Someone You Have Feelings For?
Having feelings for a friend is natural. It’s not as easy to be around someone all the time and not have some sort of romantic or emotional attraction to them—but it’s definitely possible.
This depends on what kind of friendship you have with her. If you are actually just friends, you should be able to share your feelings with her (in a respectful and nonintrusive way) and remain just friends.
However, if your “friendship” is not at all close or intimate—perhaps she’s just an acquaintance or even a co-worker whose name you learned today—it’s unlikely that your feelings are reciprocated.
Top 10 Signs She Just Wants To Be Friends But She Likes Me
Unfortunately, there is no exact science for knowing when a girl likes you. It’s impossible to give any sure-fire signs she likes you; this would completely defeat the purpose of dating, as you’d have no need to get to know her.
You’ve already found the one right for you! However, there are definitely some things that could indicate:
1. She’s Interested In Your Life
If you’re having a conversation, and she asks you questions about your life—not just your relationship status or what happened last night, but sincerely inquires about who you are—there’s a good chance she likes you.
2. She Uses Flirtatious Language
This one is not always easy to judge, but if she is speaking to you with more emphasis on certain words and phrases (speaking slower or enunciating more clearly, for instance), it could be a good sign that she’s flirting with you. At the very least, it sounds like she wants to speak to you more.
3. She’s Giving You A Little More Attention
Perhaps she’s offering you more attention (even if it’s only a little bit more), or maybe she smiles and laughs at your jokes (even if she normally doesn’t). If you are having a conversation with her at all, she is giving you more attention than usual.
4. You Feel Like She Is Telling You About Her Week
After work, if you’re sitting across from her in the cafeteria, rather than read an article that people are discussing on Facebook or discussing the latest episode of “The Bachelor” with her friends, she will tell you about what happened to her during the week and ask how your day was.
5. She Is Complimenting You
This is tricky. If she is complimenting you, this doesn’t necessarily mean she likes you—it just means that she thinks you’re a great person and goes out of her way to show it to you. If this is the only way she gets compliments, it could mean she likes you either way.
However, most women have developed a skill for looking for the indirect ways in which compliments are given, so women who compliment you indirectly may still like you but not in the traditional sense.
6. She Punches You In The Arm
If you are talking, and she punches your arm with hers, as if she were making a point about something, this could signify that she likes you. She punches your arm to get your attention on purpose.
If it’s just out of the blue, then this is probably not a sign she likes you. It could also be an accidental reaction to someone else punching you (she probably isn’t aware that it was intentional).
However, if it’s not a one-time accident but rather a consistent thing in her behavior, then there’s a better chance that there is something between the two of you besides just plain friendship!
7. She Starts Telling You About Her Ex
For some people, it’s easy to discuss their relationships with others. But most people do not like to talk about their relationship problems with a third party.
If she starts telling you about her ex-boyfriend—especially if your conversation is leading somewhere else—it could be a sign that she likes you. She’s opening up her personal life to you because she feels comfortable around you.
But if it’s just another casual conversation, and you’re both talking about your significant others, then don’t go jumping to conclusions—it doesn’t mean anything!
8. She Has You On Her Mind
If you’re texting and there’s a good chance that she’s thinking of you while she is texting you, it could mean that she likes you.
However, this is not always the case; sometimes, the person on the other side of the conversation just doesn’t want to waste her time typing out another “haha.” This doesn’t mean she likes you.
9. She’s Talking About You Constantly
Most girls have a group of friends they hang out with regularly, and they develop deep friendships with these people.
However, if you are one of her best friends (or close friends) and she is constantly talking about you (or even just mentioning your name in conversation), then there’s a good chance that she likes you.
10. She Is Acting Different Around You In Public
On the one hand, this could just mean that she is acting more casual around you than she normally does around her friends—she might be wearing more clothes when with you or making fewer “snob” comments about your clothes or appearance. But this could also be a sign of more than friendship.
If she was acting too casually around you, maybe someone else suspects that she likes you. If this friend is nearby and notices the difference, then chances are she’s interested in you as well.
However, there is no exact science for knowing when a girl likes you—it’s impossible to give any sure-fire signs that she is into you. It’s up to your gut instinct (and small signals from her behavior) to tell the difference between just having fun with friends and wanting something more with you.
How To Respond When A Girls Says She Just Wants To Be Friends?
OK, so you’ve got all your signs, and she likes you. How do you respond? There are definitely a million ways to deal with this situation, but these are a few of the more common ways that people handle it:
1. Don’t Pursue It
You might be a little intimidated by this whole new friendship that is developing between you two. Maybe you haven’t really seen her in that way and have never really thought about dating someone who’s a friend before. This is normal, don’t worry!
But if you’re really not interested in pursuing it further than just friendship, then maybe don’t pursue it at all. She will most likely respect your decision, and you guys can hang out as friends regardless of whether she likes you or not. (Although it is possible that the relationship can develop into something more later on).
2. Make It Clear That You Are Interested
If you do want to pursue it but don’t know how she feels about you, this is a very risky move! But if you feel comfortable doing this, then ask her out for coffee or a drink. This way, you’re asking her out directly and asking for an answer from her rather than letting the air of mystery linger over your friendship forever.
Or simply tell her how you feel—girls LOVE when guys are honest about their feelings. It gives them a sense of security, and they love it when they can trust that a guy is an upfront with his feelings.
3. Let It Show Through Your Actions
If you are interested in her and would like to pursue her without asking her out, be yourself and honest about your feelings.
Show her that you enjoy spending time with her and care about what she has to say. The best way to do this is to actually listen to what she has to say and resist the urge to just talk about yourself.
Also, be aware of the signals that she is giving you! Be observant and try to see if there is any way you can tell that she is interested. And don’t forget to take the risk—if you want her, then ask her out!
The Bottom Line
It’s never easy when a girl says that all she wants to be is friends with you. It’s awkward and uncomfortable, leaving you wondering what went wrong. But don’t worry! You can get through this awkward situation without too much heartache. Just relax and keep communicating with each other, even if it’s just as friends (but remember: sometimes it’s hard to tell where friendships end and relationships begin).
Sometimes the person you are talking to is just being nice to you and doesn’t necessarily have romantic feelings for you. But don’t take it personally when she says she only wants to be friends with you, and don’t worry about her feelings!