She says she loves me but doesn’t show it. Love is like a rollercoaster. It’s twists and turns, highs and lows, the thrill of it all. But what if you’re on that ride day in and day out without ever getting off? That’s where I found myself–I was trapped by someone who claimed to love me but never showed it.
Sure we had good times along the way, but they were always overshadowed by something wrong or missing. And it felt like even when we did have those moments, she was using them as an excuse not to show her feelings for me after all this time together. So I left her behind because I refuse to live with false hope anymore–and now I’m finally free!
Why She Says She Loves Me But Doesn’t Show It: 10 Possible Reasons
If you’ve ever felt like the only thing keeping your woman with you is her sense of obligation, then this article is for you.
So here’s the deal she says she loves me but doesn’t show it because there’s something wrong between us. It could be that one of these ten things is in play, or it could just be her. Whatever the case, you deserve better than this, so read on to find out how to break free once and for all:
1. She doesn’t feel safe enough with you emotionally
MY NOTE: Again–if she is really in love with someone else, then it’s either the other guy doesn’t let her show her emotions, or she just can’t get over him. So either way, this is just another sign of her not being able to give you all she has.
2. You haven’t built enough trust with each other
If there isn’t a foundation of trust in your relationship, then it’s likely that she doesn’t feel safe sharing her feelings for you. She probably looks at you and sees a future with someone who is untrustworthy or unreliable, so she’s holding back what she feels.
3. You have a hard time being vulnerable around her
A woman wants to know that you’re open with her–that lets her know that you trust her enough to reveal your true self without being judged against it. It also helps her to feel loved. But what if you’re never vulnerable around her? Well, she will come to think of you as distant and emotionally unattached, which means there’s no way she can say “I love you” back.
4. You guys still have a lot of maturing to do
Love isn’t a feeling, and it’s an action. So it’s possible that she sees you as immature or irresponsible, which might have nothing to do with your character–it just has to do with how she feels around you.
5. You’re emotionally unavailable
Most women need emotional availability in order to feel loved–not because they take pleasure in being smothered or taken care of, but because it makes them feel secure and well-loved.
6. You don’t make her your top priority
If you’re interacting with your phone or other women more than you are with her, then she’s going to start feeling unnecessary–like just another optional plan in your life. So if she even feels like she has to compete with other women to keep your attention, then she’s not going to want to waste her time saying “I love you” either.
7. You don’t treat each other like partners or team members
Life is unpredictable, and it’s always good for both of you to have each other’s backs–that way, if something happens between the two of you, then she knows that at least one thing is stable (and that’s you). If this isn’t happening, it could be because one of you has the mindset that you’re not on the same team or that you don’t need each other.
8. You’re emotionally demanding
If your woman feels like she’s always giving and you’re always demanding, then she’s not going to want to say “I love you” because she feels like it won’t be genuine. She will only feel that way if you step all over her boundaries all the time–if that’s happening, then do yourself a favor and take a good look at how much value your woman sees in herself.
9. She just doesn’t feel it
You’re a good guy, and you’ve done all the right things, but there’s just no spark for her. It happens to every guy eventually, and if this is what it is, then I’m really sorry because she will never be able to love you as much as you deserve. But if you stick around and let her keep taking advantage of you, then she’s going to end up losing even more respect for you.
10. She wants to say “I love you” but can’t get over someone else
Even if this isn’t the case, it could still be that she doesn’t feel like she deserves happiness (or that she doesn’t deserve you). So unless you think she needs a therapist, it’s probably best that she keeps those feelings to herself.
What Can You Do?
One of the most frustrating relationships is when you’re in love with someone who doesn’t show it. It’s hard to understand why they can say “I love you” but then don’t back up their words with actions–it makes us feel crazy and insecure.
The problem could be that she’s actually not over her ex-boyfriend, or maybe she just needs more time to get used to being loved by someone else. But if this sounds like your situation, here are some things you can do:
- Take a break from each other for at least one month so that she has space and time to process what happened between the two of you
- If she still says “I love you” after giving herself some space, you have to ask yourself what you want from her. If you feel like she’s only saying it to hold on to you, then that means that it’s time for the two of you to say “Goodbye.”
- Either way, if she can’t reciprocate your feelings, then don’t let her keep taking advantage of your kindness and generosity–that’s not right, and it is definitely not fair to you.
The Bottom Line
Remember, there are plenty of women who love without conditions. And if you’re patient enough, then one day, you will find a relationship that deserves your time and effort. So don’t blame yourself or get angry at her for this. But by the same token, don’t let her take advantage of you either. If she says “I love you,” then it should mean that she loves everything about you–both your strengths and flaws.