Unhappy relationship but love him! It’s hard to make it through the day sometimes. I know because I’ve been there. You wake up in the morning, and you feel like every part of your life is terrible. It feels like it’s one thing after another- first, you’re late for work because your alarm didn’t go off; then traffic on the way there was awful; someone spilled coffee all over you! And then, at lunch, your boss yelled at you again.
When navigating an unhappy relationship, there are even more challenges that leave us feeling frustrated or unfulfilled with our partner. But what do we do if we love him? How can we fix this? Is it possible?
Why am I unhappy in my happy relationship?
One of the most common reasons people find themselves unhappy in a happy relationship is that they’re not allowing room for personal growth and development.
When we feel secure in a loving relationship, it’s much easier to open our minds and hearts to new things. We can bring a fresh outlook on life- pick up those old books from high school and college that we always wanted to read but never found the time. We can try new hobbies or travel to parts of the world we’ve always wanted to go to.
But when we feel unfulfilled in our relationships, it’s easy to cling tightly to those feelings rather than allow ourselves room for growth and change.
You May Like: How Long Do Borderline Relationships Last?
10 Signs Of An Unhappy Relationship But Love Him
Unhappy relationship but love him! We don’t want to give up on them so soon. So here are ten red flags that may be telling you that your relationship needs a little help:
1. You feel like you are always giving in
One of the surest signs that something is wrong with your relationship is that you are not getting what you want or need but are giving it to him anyway. It’s normal to give up on things you don’t care about much, but remember this- if you’re really passionate about something, it’s important to fight for it.
If you had an argument with him and he won’t apologize or accept your feelings, try telling him “I love you” before walking away. Sometimes hearing the right thing at the right time can go far in resolving conflict. He may still not agree with you, but it will show that you are strong in your beliefs.
2. You feel like the relationship is one-sided
If you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around him or always do things for him because he doesn’t seem to be able to take care of himself, this is not a healthy sign. Perhaps he doesn’t help out around the house because you are younger, but if he isn’t giving back to the relationship in some way, it’s time to talk about how you feel.
3. The “honeymoon” phase is over
It’s normal for relationships to lose momentum after a few months or years- this doesn’t mean that they’re bad! It just means that the relationship is evolving. This can be a scary time for people, but you’ve got to work together to keep things fresh.
4. You’re not communicating your feelings
At some point, everyone needs to become an adult in their relationships- even if they are kids! If you feel like you can’t tell him how you really feel, or if you don’t know how to say no without feeling guilty, never fear! There are plenty of adults in the world who can help you learn these simple life skills.
5. You’re using dangerous coping mechanisms
Do you drink too much? Do you smoke or do drugs? What about self-harm or eating disorders? These aren’t healthy ways to deal with the problems in your life. If you’re doing any of these things, talk to a trusted friend or family member- they may be able to help you find an even better coping mechanism.
6. You fear standing up for yourself
It’s fine to have boundaries- it’s actually a good idea! You don’t want to be walked all over, and you need some time for yourself. However, it’s very difficult to feel comfortable in a relationship if you’re always walking on eggshells. Remember- while not everything is worth fighting about, we should never give up something we really believe in just because we’re afraid of how our partner will react.
7. You don’t like the way you look (or act) when you’re with him
If he makes fun of your weight or clothes, it’s okay to tell him that this is not okay with you! If he tries to pressure you into doing something that goes against your morals- whether it be sex, drugs, or anything else- tell him NO. If you constantly find yourself acting differently when he’s around, it’s time to think about who is really making your decisions for you.
8. You feel like there is no future in the relationship
Watch out for those red flags! If you get a feeling in the pit of your stomach that tells you something is off, you should really think about what it is. If you’re not happy with the way things are going, it’s okay to look for greener pastures!
9. You don’t trust him
Trust goes both ways- if he doesn’t offer up information about his life or struggles, try asking him some questions that show your interest. If he doesn’t return this interest, it’s something to think about!
10. You don’t want to lose him as a friend
Dating and friendships often mix like oil and water- if he is truly your best friend, try not to push him away by making things awkward. If you think you might lose him as a friend, take some time to consider whether he is right for you before doing anything rash.
How can we fix when you love someone, but you’re not happy?
When something is bothering you in your relationship, it’s really important to talk about it. This can be hard with some people- we say we’ll do it and then we don’t, or we feel the need to lie about how we’re feeling just so that our partner isn’t upset.
It’s okay for there to be some conflict in your relationship- not everything has to be sunshine and rainbows! Just make sure that you’re always coming from a place of love. Saying something like, “I feel really sad when you don’t want to talk about our problems,” is much nicer than saying, “You never talk about anything with me!”
If you’re struggling with communicating your feelings, you might want to consider talking to someone else- a teacher, counselor, or maybe even another trusted adult. If you can’t talk to anyone around you, never fear! There are lots of resources online that can help you with healthy ways to talk about difficult topics.
The best way to deal with problems in a relationship? Talking about them and never giving up something we really believe in just because we’re afraid of how our partner will react. Communicating your feelings is easier said than done, but never fear- there are plenty of resources online that can help you find the words to say! Remember to treat your partner with respect, love them for who they are, and focus on the positive things in your life.