Why do breakups hit guys later? The answer is not so simple. It’s a question that can only be answered by men and women who have experienced the pain of a breakup themselves.
And while it might seem like an inquiry best saved for those who are old enough to know where they stand in the world of relationships, there is much to be learned from this blog post.
Breakups don’t discriminate – they affect men and women both, but with slightly different circumstances and concerns.
Of course, every relationship story is different: depending on your personality type, your partner/ex-partner’s personality, how long you were together, your location and social setting, whether you had children or not – the list goes on!
But keep in mind, guys can be just as devastated by a breakup as women; it’s just usually harder for them to show it.
Which is exactly why we are writing this blog post! To prove that men do feel the pain of a breakup, and despite what some may think, it affects them later in life.
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The Truth About Men & Breakups
Over the course of our relationship coaching, we have had thousands of people come to us for advice on whether their man was secretly pining away for their ex after them (referred to hereinafter as ‘later’). And more often than not – these concerns were raised by women.
And it’s no wonder because with popular culture and media showing us that men are emotionally different from women – the question of how a breakup affects guys later is always going to be a thing.
And let’s face it, despite what you see in movies and see on TV – most men aren’t built to wear their hearts on their sleeves.
But we can also tell you that there are many reasons why a breakup can hit guys later and we will lay them out for you now based on our years of experience with male clientele.
Why Do Breakups Hit Guys Later: 7 Most Surprising Reasons
1. You Don’t Hear From Your Ex
Of all the reasons why a breakup can hit guys later, the most common one is that you just don’t hear from your ex anymore. And we understand why this is confusing.
After all, most women believe that their ex-partner will move on after just a couple of weeks (which is usually true) – but for men, getting over you can take months and even years.
Thinking back to our own experiences with breakups, there was one time when we were no longer in contact with our ex for 6 months, and it made us feel as low as we felt when we first ended things with her.
And it all stemmed from one really simple reason – we weren’t asking her where she was, who she was with, and what plans she had!
And the more we looked into this, the more we realized that a breakup does affect guys later because of how men are wired. And it goes to show that for some men, getting over you is about caring about these things as much as you do:
A breakup can hit guys later if they don’t care about your ex’s whereabouts.
2. You Don’t Know Who Your Ex Is
We want to take this opportunity to remind you all that your ex-boyfriend, husband, or partner is still a person – and he wants to be friends with you too.
So it’s really important that you keep in touch with him and show him you still care (even after he has broken up with you!).
This can be easy if he is in the same city as you, but if not, then try starting off by calling his work number so that they can forward your calls to him at home. If that doesn’t work, then see if there are any mutual friends and see if he wants to talk.
And even though you love each other, it’s also very important to remember that when a breakup does hit guys later, it can be because they don’t know who their ex is anymore.
And this is a normal part of the process – not everyone can know what goes on in your life (unless you want them to).
But if your man was once a huge part of your life and now he doesn’t even know what you are doing on the weekends – then we suggest getting back in touch with him so that he knows who you are!
3. You Don’t Give Him The Opportunity To Get To Know You
A breakup can hit guys later if you don’t give him the chance to get to know you. And we are talking about getting to know everything about who you are.
Whether you have a lot of fun hobbies or if you are more of a quiet and reserved person – there is a reason your man broke up with you (or maybe several reasons). And it’s possible that your current lifestyle and personality weren’t the ones he was after.
So we want to encourage you to go out there, do things, explore and most importantly – be yourself. Because when you meet up with him after your breakup, the last thing he wants to talk about is why your relationship was not working.
He just wants to get back to the days when you were together and really talk about things like what you liked about each other and what you miss about his company. Start off by showing him that you are the same person he met before – because he will definitely remember everything about how he fell in love with you!
4. He’s Moving On Too
We know this is a very hard pill to swallow, but it’s important that we are honest with you and tell you that your ex may also be moving on too! And trust us, most of these men do not actually want to start dating again – they just want to be friends for now.
We know it’s a big blow to your ego, but if your man is still in touch with his ex, then there is nothing wrong with you calling him and asking what he has been doing lately. And despite what he is saying, ask him at least once a week how he is and if he wants to get back together.
Despite what many women believe, guys do fall in love again – and they are always looking for an opportunity to get back together with the one they love!
5. You Are Not Keeping Your Options Open
When it comes to getting over a breakup, men do have the advantage of just moving on and finding someone new to love. But they also have their own set of disadvantages, such as dealing with an ex who will give them the cold shoulder.
And this is where a breakup can hit guys later; because if he can’t get back together with you and you aren’t showing him around – what else is there for him?
We know that you might be heartbroken and vulnerable about starting over again, but one thing you should never do is assume your man won’t find someone else.
In fact, most men would jump at the chance to get back together with you if they missed you that much. So stop putting limitations on his love life – regardless of what he says!
6. You Just Stopped Talking About It
We know that a breakup can hit guys later is a common one, but the truth is it will hit them even harder if the two of you stop talking about it.
So we have a great tip for you – remember why your guy broke up with you in the first place and see if there are any similarities or differences between now and before he left you!
But remember to leave out any details about what was said and ensure your ex knows that he needs to stay focused on being friends.
And to help you out even further, here are 10 ways you can move on from your breakup and get back into the dating game!
A Final Word On The Breakup Hitting Guys Later Phenomenon
We know that getting over a breakup can hit guys later – but this was not our intention to make you feel bad about it. This was just our way of showing that many men feel as devastated after a breakup as they do when they first find out they have lost the one they love.
And while some men can move on immediately, others will take weeks or months and still have moments of doubt when it comes to their self-worth.
So our ultimate goal is not to make you feel bad – but to keep you focused on your goals and what you want out of life. And if it’s a man who loves and adores you, then we encourage you to show him that he still has a chance with you!
Now we have given you our best breakup advice on The Breakup Hitting Guys Later Phenomenon – so what are your thoughts? Do you agree with us? We would love to hear from both men and women. Tell us your thoughts in the comments below!